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How to Deal With Jealous People in Simple Ways

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How to Deal With Jealous People in Simple Ways

Tired of being an object of envy? Here’s how you can deal with jealous people

Jealousy is something that we have all experienced in our lives. It can work both ways- either you are jealous of someone or someone is jealous of you. The second case is more troublesome because it is very difficult to deal with envious people.

It is natural to feel a little jealous of a potential rival. However, when the resentment goes out of hand, it turns into jealousy. Jealousy is a very intense emotion that makes a person want to steal away the glory and success of another person.

It is not only your competitor who may feel jealous towards you. Sometimes it may be your coworkers or even your family members. Friends too can turn envious if they want something that you have.

Signs of a jealous person

The first step in dealing with jealousy to know the signs of a jealous person. Only if you are able to spot a jealous person can you deal with him or her. Here are some of the indications which can help you to identify jealous people:

Gossiping

This is the most common sign of jealousy. The person who is jealous of you always tries to speak ill of you in front of others. Most of the time, this bad mouthing happens behind your back. If you get to know that a person is constantly gossiping about you with others, you should get alerted of his or her jealousy towards you.

Negative Vibes

Friends criticize each other all the time, but with a good intention. However, jealous friends or people criticize you in front of others just put you down. Their criticism is not constructive. The intention is to find out your faults and display them publicly. This is another sign of jealousy.

Lack of appreciation

When you achieve something and a friend of yours does not congratulate you on your success, it indicates that he or she is unhappy with you being successful. In order to find out your jealous friend, you should announce your achievement in front of everyone and check the individual reactions. The person who is jealous of you will instantly withdraw and maintain silence.

Clinginess

This is yet another sign of jealousy in which your jealous friend or partner always sticks to your side so that you cannot mingle with others whom the friend or partner disapproves of. They try to keep you from doing things which makes them jealous. When the clinginess intensifies, it shows that the root cause of the jealousy is nearby.

Need for reassurance

In some cases, jealousy causes a loss of confidence in some people. They need to be constantly assured that you still love them or care about them. Such people become very angry when you are unable to take their calls. They sometimes ask you out right about your feelings towards them. Their insecurity and unhappiness can damage your relationship with them.

Competitiveness

Friends who are jealous, tend to enter into unreasonable competitions to prove that they are better than you in every way. They brag about their achievements in front of others to make you feel inferior.

Petty behaviour

Jealous people constantly try to insult you in small ways. They say hurtful things and then give the excuse that they are being honest. They try to embarrass and humiliate you in front of others deliberately. Your failure gives them happiness and if you achieve something, they give the credit for it to luck.

These are just a few signs of a jealous person that you can refer to when looking for someone who is jealous of you.

Dealing with envious friends

When you identify a jealous friend, it is important to understand the reason for your friend’s jealousy. You should note the times when your friend passes negative comments. They may be triggered by an action of yours or certain words spoken by you either about something good that is happening in your life or regarding your future plans.

You need to analyze their comments on the basis of the following criteria:

  • Are the comments about your possessions?
  • Are they about your success?
  • Are they about your appearance?
  • Are they about your actions?

If the first case is true, it means that your friend is struggling to create his or her identity other than on the basis of financial position.

In the second case, your success makes your friend feel deprived of getting the opportunities that you are receiving in life.

The third case indicates that your friend is jealous of your appearance and insecure of his own.

The last case shows that your friend is constantly critiquing your actions because he is unable to do what you can. His efforts to pull you down are a part of defense mechanism to protect his own ego.

When you identify the reason for the jealousy, it is time to talk to your friend. You should do this as soon as possible so that the jealousy is not allowed to fester for long. It is important to clear the air by diplomatically bringing up the negative statements made by the friend and confronting your friend with them. You should not accuse him or her but inform your friend that these comments are hurting you.

You should ask the friend about the problems that he or she is facing in his personal life or the reason why he or she is upset with you. You should be an active listener to hear your friend out. It is important to let your friend vent out his or her frustrations so that the negativity is purged.

It can so happen that the reasons given by your friend for the jealousy may surprise you. You need to keep an open mind while dealing with a jealous friend. Trying to see the situation from their perspective can help you to understand them better even if you do not agree with them. You should nit show your disapproval and disagreement explicitly. Instead, you should try to validate their feelings by acknowledging them.

The next step is to encourage and support your friend so that they can explore their real selves and move beyond the unproductive jealousy. When their focus shifts from you to themselves, they can start their journey of self-discovery. You need to hold their hand through the difficult journey of coming out of negativity. If you help them to recognize their inherent talents, it can build up their self-confidence and the root cause of jealousy gets discarded.

In case you have a ‘toxic’ friend who tries to control you and bully you into doing things his or her way, you need to give the relationship a last chance by confronting the friend and asking him or her to change his or her behavior. If the friend does not agree to your terms, it is time to move on. You need to remain firm on your decision even when the friend tries to pressure you. The process of ending this relationship can be a long one but you need to gradually distance yourself from such friends.

How to deal with jealous family members?

This is a very thorny issue because jealousy between two family members can ruin the family dynamics and make the other members feel as if they are walking on egg shells all the time. Family members are closest to your heart and because you are so open with them, they have the potential to hurt you the most.

The reasons for jealousy remain the same for every relationship, be it friends or family. However, in the case of family, it is much more advisable to wait for sometime before confronting the person. It is better to keep your mouth shut because family relationships are really tangled up. If one relationship goes sour, it can have a domino effect on the other relationships too.

The best way to handle such a jealousy is to keep your personal business to yourself and not sharing any good news with those members of the family. If you do, it can become fodder for gossip and spread more negativity. There is no need to feel guilty about keeping things from them because not all relationships are meant to be compatible. If your relationship with them remains cordial by doing so, then this is the path that you need to follow to avoid unnecessary trouble.

It is also a good idea to limit your interactions with such people. Maintaining civility is more than enough in this case. You should avoid confrontations with them. It is much better to maintain peace in the house than exchanging bitter words which both of you are unlikely to forget. You should continue to be the loving and caring person that you are a hope for them to change with time.

You should never hold yourself responsible for their jealousy because it is not your problem. There is no need to stop yourself from becoming an achiever or alter your behavior just to please them. You should try to reduce their hold on your emotions and continue to live your life your way. If they are able to realize their mistake, there is nothing better than that, but if they are not, you should block out the negativity and concentrate on your life.

Dealing with jealous coworkers

People get jealous anytime, anywhere, including at your workplace. This is a very common problem given the competitive nature of the job. Though this is totally inappropriate and unhealthy, you need to deal with it effectively. Here are some ideas for doing so:

  • You should never brag about your achievements because if you do so, you poke your fellow coworkers where it hurts most. As it is the level of competition in an office is insane. You don’t need to add fuel to the fire. If you remain humble, those who are jealous of you also start admiring you reluctantly. Let your actions do the talking instead of your words and see the difference.

 

  • You should not indulge in gossip because not only is it unproductive and offensive but it is the easiest way to make enemies at the workplace. It incites the jealousy of the coworkers and the atmosphere of negativity can destroy the work culture. Gossip, once started, has no end to it. It can go out of hand and bring a backlash to you in the form of your coworker’s anger and revenge.

 

  • There is no need to pacify or engage with the jealous coworkers because they keep sending out negative vibes and spoil the whole day for you. Their negative comments can make you feel bitter unnecessarily. The best solution is to maintain your distance with such people. They do not add any value to your life and instead of appreciating your good qualities; they always highlight your faults.

 

  • If things get out of hand, it is time to talk to the person directly. You should honestly confront the coworker regarding their behavior towards you and tell them that you feel uncomfortable with their attitude. You should give them a chance to explain themselves by not being accusatory in your approach. You should present yourself as willing to solve the rift. If your coworker is able to take a clue from it and tries to change his or her behavior, your problem is solved. However, if the problem continues to persist, it is best to ignore the person and move on in life.

Now that you know how to deal with people who are jealous of you, you should do so effectively to keep your life uncomplicated and free of negativity. Jealousy is very unattractive and detrimental for any relationship. That is why it should be nipped in the bud itself whenever possible.

What if you start feeling jealous of others? The same formula applies to you. Now that you are equipped with the knowledge of how to deal with jealous people, you should apply it to yourself and prevent yourself from becoming insufferable and obnoxious. You should try your best to gain more friends by dealing with jealousy and increase your happiness quotient. Go ahead and try it today!

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