There is no such thing as a perfect couple. Disagreements happen. Arguing is only natural. No matter how similar or in-sync two people may seem, at some point, they will get on each other’s nerves and start a fight. Of course, not all fights end up in a breakup. Most of the time, anger and frustration fizzle out as soon as one party admits that they were wrong.
However, there are fights that are really intense. When it happens, both people forget that they love each other. Accusations are thrown around. Previous grievances come out in the open. Both parties end up getting hurt. These kinds of fights can break up a happy couple.
If you do not want to end the relationship, the best thing to do is to understand where your partner is coming from. Acknowledge their feelings and opinions. Apologize for your mistakes and make a promise to do better next time.
Give your partner the space to sort through their emotions. Eventually, things will go back to normal. But to speed things up, or as a way to atone for your sins, here are small but sweet things you can do for your beloved after a big fight.
Give Them Gifts
Everyone likes receiving gifts but, because you just came out of a huge fight, the item you will give should be extra special. It has to have a special meaning behind it, something that will remind your loved ones that you love them, and they love you. You can give them something that you made yourself like a scrapbook filled with photos from your first out-of-town trip. You can also look into silicone promise rings for women which will symbolize your intent to treat them better in the future.
The monetary cost of the gift does not matter. Cliche as it may be, it is the thought behind the gift that counts most.
Give Them a Day Off
If they have been stressed lately because of work or childcare, the least that you can do is to help them with their daily tasks. Take over the household chores for the week, including their share of responsibilities. Take the children to the park or library, too, for the day. The goal is to allow them to calm down and relax. A fight can be emotionally exhausting. Giving them time to unwind will improve their mood and their mental well being.
But, do not stop doing things for them when things go back to normal. You should do your share of housework and childcare. Otherwise, your loved one will continue to feel stressed and fighting may begin once again.
Make Them Laugh
There is nothing that can defuse tension in a room other than a funny joke. You know what kind of humor makes them giggle uncontrollably. Use it to your advantage by cracking a funny joke.
However, give it time. If your partner is still very angry, it might not go well. Wait until they seem calmer and then tell them about the funny joke you heard from your favorite comedian or a funny thing that happened to a coworker.
Be Alone Together
When was the last time you went on a date? Just the two of you? Relationships require work. It does not happen because you love each other. You still need to fan the flame to keep the fire burning.
Go on a date. Wear your fanciest shirt and shoes. Book a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Moreover, hire a sitter for your kids. The night is for the two of you to rekindle your affection for one another.
Wait Until They are Ready
People respond to arguments differently. While your partner may have forgiven you, they may still need time to parse through their thoughts and feelings.
If that is what they want, that is what you need to give. Allow them space to breathe and to be alone with their thoughts for a while. Pushing them to make up will only exacerbate the situation. Wait, and, when they are ready, welcome them back with open arms.
Conflict is necessary for a relationship. It allows two people to get to know each other better and grow individually and as a couple. At the end of it, your relationship will emerge stronger than ever. Remember that you two love each other and you want each other to be happy.
Most importantly, do not let the fight drag on and do not rehash previous arguments. This will only create more fights in the future. There should not be silent treatment either which feels very manipulative. Calm down, sit, and talk. That is the best way to handle arguments between couples.